Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize