Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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