I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
where does the pee come out of this thing
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
