I'm gonna have a badass scar
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
This house was built for laser tag.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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