Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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