worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
