even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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