So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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