after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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