I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I have tasted many bathrooms
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
