that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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