I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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