your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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