i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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