apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
