you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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