pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
