how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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