I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
