i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
