Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
