My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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