Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
