Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
