OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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