Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
