Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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