the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
