I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Randomize
