I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize