just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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