Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
im holly from the hills drunk
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
