well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
we should paint friendship bongs
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