Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I want her autograph on my taint
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
