two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize