She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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