R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
