I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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