turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
