I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize