Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I love you.
Bad choice
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
