i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
