At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
