i was born a porn star she said
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
