there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
