How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
