I can't breathe out the right side of my face
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
