I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
