I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
