he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
