This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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