How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
