this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Holy shit dude........stairs
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
