she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You pole danced in your parka.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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