Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
