He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
