Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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