well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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