We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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