I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize